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lilarianna [userpic]


June 22nd, 2010 (08:30 am)

This is a note to let my friends know.. except for one... he should certainly know who he is *smiles* but in case he needs a hint... your name begins with an M.

I have lost interest in ageplay. It filled a void that i needed filled at the time. it was a way for me to ignore....yet at the same time not ignore my submissiveness. Everyone always asks me why i like ageplay. My answer has always been the taboo of it. Well yes and no...

i have learned the past few weeks that my actually reason is because if i am rping a child....that character needs to be taken care of... its expected. My past experience which has caused me to ignore the sub in me, told me i was weak...i know better. But regardless, i found myself delving into child characters, whom you expect to be weak... verses a grown woman.

The dad i wrote about.... i am sorry to you. you have been wonderful to me. But i need some time to figure me out a bit more. you know my story probably better than anyone else here. The exception being "M" i do not wish to hurt you, though i know this probably will. And for that i'm sorry. but for me to continue is just lying to you. And you know how i have had to deal with someone i care about lying to me here recently.... i wont do that to you.

this has been fun for me, it has been healing in ways that i never thought possible. it is time for me to embrace myself, love myself again, accept myself for who i truly am.  I don't know if i'll come back to this from time to time or not. right now i am delighting in getting to know adult me again. And you know, i'm learning... she's not half bad after all.

i hope that you all understand and if you don't, well i can't help that. I wish you all the very best, you have brought me much pleasure and joy and i only hope that in the past year or so that i have done that same thing for you.

best wishes in your journey.



Posted by: 1_strangeman (1_strangeman)
Posted at: June 22nd, 2010 08:33 pm (UTC)

Have a good journey. All the best...

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